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NVSN Journal Entry No. 7

January 12, 2017

With everything that has transpired recently I don't how to live on like this. I feel my own parents are still in denial of my legitimate condition, even a diagnosis from a medical professional doesn't even get it through their thick heads that I am suffering day in and day out. I have such an amazing support group, but nowadays I have so much trouble confiding in them because I fear that my sadness and all these horrible feelings will bring them down as well. I've been trying to weed out the drugs and distance myself from using them as a coping mechanism, but sadly I have failed time and time again. I can't believe this is happening again, I had the greatest job, an amazing girlfriend, and a brother who has supported me through everything. Now I don't have the job, and I'm feeling like this again :/ the thoughts came to my head that having a successful job would be sufficient for my parents to finally be proud of me, and they have told me time and time again that I need to keep this job because it's a good one and not many opportunities are available for someone in my position. With losing this job, I fear I'm back into the failure status in my parents eyes. I'm trying everything that's possible for me to get another job in my field, but nothing has presented itself that is of any relevance to my field, and I'm falling into a deeper hole of depression, and it took me breaking down in public to get out the first time, I don't know what will come of this time.

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1 comment

  • NVSN

    Jan 12, 2017

    Dear contributor,

    Thank you so much for sharing this with the NVSN community. It takes a strong person to go through what you are going through, but to have the strength to share this and be honest with yourself about it is a display of immense courage. We encourage you to continue reaching out to your support systems and with their help, discover more and more ways to take care of you.

    What matters the most is that you are doing your best to look for new opportunities. Keep working and keep trying your best to look for what makes you happy. Success, and yes failure too, is in the eyes of the beholder. Do your best to work on your own definition of success and continue doing what you are doing to achieve that. We at NVSN wish you the best of luck and we’re very proud that you continue to be open with your support system and look after yourself.

    Thank you for being you.
    - NVSN

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