NVSN Journal Entry No. 24

All I can remember is loneliness. From early childhood, cradling myself, trying to hold on to a memory of a love that keeps eluding me. In my sleep I am running away from home, when I wake up, I can't even get out of bed. In school I am a leader, someone to watch, but in my mind I am nothing but a rope marked neck, lacerated skin. There is no blood flowing through my veins, it left a long time ago. There is no air in my lungs; they collapsed when I collapsed. My ribcage is a tunnel that the ghosts of my past float on. My name means peace, but I could not be more uneasy. I listen to the sound of waves only to imagine being drowned. I am alone, truly alone. I have perfect attendence, but have been gone for so long.

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